<jason> School Closings Monday Jan. 6
<jason> Fayetteville Public Schools
<jason> I’M KINDA OVER PUBLIC SCHOOLS BEIN CLOSED
<b> no school 2marrow
<b> announcement from governor: “fuck” school
<b> “IT 2 KO”, he said
<b> “it’s too co—”, he started to say, before freezing completely solid forever
<b> fill the leafblower with stink juice and stick some kind of prosthetic butt on the end
<sb> i would prefer constant farting to the sound they actually make.
<sb> there goes the leaf man and his trusty fart machine
<b> hmm, i wonder if we could stinkbomb dixon street during bbb.
<b> .. and that’s the story of how i got 400 hours of community service
<b> i wanna pet you like an animal / … something … / all of my cats are declawed
<b> all of my shoes have been gnawed
<b> closer to dog
<sb> [footage of trent in colorful clothing, taking a morning stroll through a dog park]
<b> trent with dreadlocks, wearing a daishiki.
<b> trent wondering to himself “who doesn’t want to get stoneder off the same amount of bud?”
<b> trent calling it “his sunbeam”
<sb> trent playing alliance
<b> sometimes you take it too far.
* sb hangs out the passenger side of his best friend’s, tries to holla at you
<sb> \o/ you guys forgot about me didn’t you.
<sb> \o/ WELL YOU SHOULDN’T
<sb> \o/ I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP IF YOU DON’T PROOFREAD
<sb> \o/ AND YOUR FAMILY TOO
<sb> when life gives you lemons, don’t parade on my lemonade #brokencliche
<sb> we’ll pour lemonade on that bridge when we come to it!
<sb> never pour lemonade in a gift horse’s mouth!
<sb> a tall cool glass of lemonade is worth seven birds in a bush!
<b> chile picante cornnuts
<b> am i rite
* b dumps whole bag into mouth, proceeds to shatter every single tooth
* b blows out broken teeth and shredded gums like satanic leaf blower
<sb> friends don’t let friends eat cornnuts
<sb> p.s. all leaf blowers are satanic
<b> yeah, -1 redundant @ “satanic”
<sb> or maybe they’re christian because they’re incredibly loud annoying blowhards
<sb> BA DUM TSS
<sb> so, trip report i guess: i don’t understand what’s the deal with pokemon.
<sb> it’s just a bad menu-based rpg.
<sb> even with the cute cartoon animals.
<jason> sb: did you catch them all?
<jason> doesn’t seem like you’ve had enough time
<jason> you’ve got to catch them all
<sb> no, i was like psyduck! that’s the only pokemon i need.
<jason> catch. them. ALL.
<sb> i dun wanna
<sb> please nintendo don’t hit me
<jason> hahah, “swear gangs”
* sb looks left
* sb looks right
<sb> you guys wanna form a swear gang?
<sb> actually, i guess that’s basically what this channel is anyway.
<b> it seems like some kind of collaborative text art gang to me.
<sb> it’s a fantasy swear-cussing game.
<sb> *hands you some dice, sits down behind Cuss Master’s Screen*
<b> shit!!! fuck!!!
<b> finally, a game i understand.
<jason> i use my *DICK* to cast *PISS*!!
<sb> 500 obscenity points to each of you
<b> heh, piss wizardry for real.
<b> let’s put on some suitable music like
<sb> my geldorf is officially done with outland. hail satan!
* sb stands around and tells other players to kill a certain number of a certain creature, hands out “experience points” (the adult kind)
<jason> NSBE will be selling Valentine’s Day Beanie Babies in the Union Food court Tuesday through Friday, 11 am – 2 pm.
<b> No School Before Eunuchry, sounds about rite
<jason> to the tune of No Sleep ‘Til Brooklyn
<sb> idea, beanie rabies
<b> idea, make them hump and get diseases
<sb> toys that age and get infirmities and die
<b> i think we probably just reinvented dogs.